I believe art can help souls; I started to produce portraits of Jeffrey with the intention of helping his soul transform and transcend through beauty and art, where Jeffrey can be put into a context where he can exist peacefully, where he can love and be loved, experience desire without hurt and, ultimately, be happy.
I do not use any AI Model trained to produce Jeffrey’s face, I do use Img2Img in some more classical and obvious forms of portraits but, for the most part, Jeffrey’s image appears through to my outputs in a supernatural fashion, where no photo of him is used, nor any reference to his name. I make use of Photoshop to correct some body features that do not come out well enough through my AI machine, however, his face is, very rarely, corrected or modified.
Untitled with Glasses (2023) – A spontaneous output, unmodified.
I do have a very deep connection with Jeffrey’s soul; I believe my mission is to help him, as he has been, to me, a guiding soul, since my childhood years. I believe his soul is Good and that he has repented in a deep and honest way, choosing to become Light.
It has been very hard for me, and for the community that supports this belief, to experience so much hatred and intolerance, in places that shout words of freedom, in a very selective way that does not give any space to real things in this world, like: forgiveness to those who really need it.
[I am currently without Instagram or any other platform, because our mission is unwelcome and my accounts keep being taken down.]
In the case of Jeffrey Dahmer, Dr. Judith Becker, an expert in forensic psychiatry, has speculated about a potential connection between his childhood hernia surgery and his later behavior. Her statement raises questions about the influence of traumatic medical experiences on individuals, particularly in relation to Dahmer’s disturbing actions of cutting up bodies.
During the 1960s and 70s, it was not uncommon for babies & young children to undergo surgeries without adequate anesthesia. These experiences were often painful and traumatic, leaving a lasting impact on the psychological well-being of the individuals involved. That was compounded also by the fact that studies in the 1940s had incorrectly stated that babies and infants lacked the capability to feel pain, after they seemed to be unresponsive to pinpricks for example. This was later explained by a failure to correctly interpret infant body language.
Jeffrey Dahmer’s Surgery and potential coping mechanisms
Jeffrey Dahmer, as a child, underwent a hernia surgery. It is believed that this surgery, in the early 60s, may have been performed without sufficient anesthesia. Dr. Judith Becker has speculated that this traumatic experience could have influenced Jeffrey’s later behavior, particularly his inclination towards violence and the gruesome act of dismembering and cutting up bodies. After the operation, 4y.o. Jeffrey asked his parents if someone had cut off his penis. This inquiry raises the distressing possibility that he may have felt pain or confusion during the procedure, which could have influenced his subsequent behavior.
Dr. Judith Becker’s Statement
Dr. Becker about Jeff during an interview for a documentary
Dr. Becker ( expert witness during legal proceedings), presented her speculation regarding the potential connection between Jeff’s surgery and his subsequent behavior. Her statement suggests that traumatic medical experiences, such as Jeffrey’s surgery, can have profound psychological effects on individuals, potentially shaping their behavior in unsettling ways. The impact of traumatic experiences on individuals’ psychological development is a multifaceted issue. While traumatic events can contribute to the development of psychological conditions and maladaptive behaviors, it is important to consider other factors, such as genetic predisposition, environmental influences, and individual coping mechanisms, when examining the root causes of disturbing behavior.
Continued Research and Awareness
Dr. Becker’s speculation regarding Dahmer’s surgery and its potential influence on his behavior underscores the need for further research and understanding in the field of trauma. Investigating the relationship between childhood medical trauma and long-term psychological outcomes can provide valuable insights into the complexities of human development, aiding in the identification of interventions to mitigate the potential negative impacts.
The significance of the operation in the trial against Jeffrey Dahmer did NOT receive adequate attention and was not taken as seriously as it should have been. Despite the potential trauma and pain Jeffrey may have experienced during this surgery, the court proceedings focused primarily on his later disturbing actions.The case of this experience and his subsequent disturbing behavior highlights the significance of traumatic medical experiences in shaping an individual’s psychological well-being. While Dr. Becker’s statement offers a speculative perspective, it prompts us to consider the potential connections between traumatic events and aberrant behaviors.
BONUS
Dr Becker telling studends about Jeffrey Dahmers case and how she was involved 🙂
i empathize with jeff as a human being. i don’t empathize with his decisions. this is why it’s so uniquely painful to read about all he’s done. but i don’t think i ever lose my empathy for him, even in his deepest depravity — and that’s a hard pill to swallow, even for me myself.
when i read about him jerking off in front of 12-year-olds in hopes that they would stare at him admiringly, or when i think about how he molested somsack, i feel disgusted and sickened and horrified. and angry with him, too. REALLY pissed off at him, in fact. when he does stuff to underage boys, that’s the closest i get to wanting to just destroy him — even more than the murders for some reason. we don’t know what happens after death, and most of what he did to his victims’ bodies happened postmortem. still awful, but at least there’s a little comfort in knowing they didn’t feel any of it. but the living victims especially have to deal with sustained trauma, and i think about how those developing brains get that trauma irreversibly woven into their psyches.
he selfishly exerted power and control over the powerless in so many ways. and it angers me when i think about it. it doesn’t matter how bad your fucking childhood was; you don’t take it out on innocents. doesn’t matter what age those innocents are, really — it’s wrong regardless — but there’s something especially infuriating about it when they’re so young and they have their whole lives ahead of them, and you choose to inflict scars on them that impact their brain development and therefore go even deeper in a way.
strangely, though, i don’t lose my affection for him as a whole person. it stretches the limits of my empathy to painful extremes, no doubt about that. but my love for him never goes away. and that in itself makes me feel guilty when i think about it in the context of his crimes, like i’m doing something wrong. but at the same time, i remember how much he regretted his actions — and call me naïve, but i truly think he did have remorse, though that’s another tangent — and so my first instinct is to wipe the emotional slate clean [as much as possible] and give him the chance in my mind to do the right thing from now on. that’s the type of person i’ve always been and probably always will be. i’ve always been quick to forgive as long as i think the person really meant it. and if they did, then i think it’s only fair to prioritize moving forward. and jeff seemed to be trending “better” toward the end, so i can probably safely assume that this was a genuine change of heart.
i don’t think i have that Fi “repulsion switch” that’s talked about in MBTI, where a single action or trait of a person — or even multiple traits at once — makes you hate everything about them. i don’t naturally view people as angels or demons, and i’ve really felt more pressure from outside to feel this way than anything else. we’re all just humans, all forced to exist in grey areas. it’s just that jeff’s lows were THE LOWEST you could go without being an outright sadistic POS.
but he lacked that bitter “sting” to his soul that sadists like john wayne gacy had. he had the darkness and the heaviness without the sting of truly enjoying what he was doing. deriving pleasure from an act isn’t the same as enjoying it on a character level, if that makes sense. you can get a physical rush from something and be disgusted at your own body’s reactions to it, asking yourself “ugh, why the fuck do i LIKE this?” that sort of agonizing rug-burn of the soul can really feel like a war inside of you. i’ve been there with alcohol and benzos, just exhausted by my body’s cravings for those things. physically enjoying the rush they gave me, but hating that it brought me pleasure when i knew it was fucking up my life.
i think there was probably at least some of that going on inside of jeff with his sex addiction and alcoholism. the way he leaned into the “evil” nature of the exorcist iii, using the yellow contact lenses to “get into character,” seems like a coping mechanism to me. like he figured he was just going to be evil no matter what, so he may as well go all-out and embrace it. the way he said he felt “so hopelessly evil and perverted” makes me think this. if you can’t beat it, join it, i suppose. he said that he didn’t like feeling evil, though. and i believe he really was trying to be better, considering how perfectionistic he was about christianity toward the end.
this is how i see him after considering his life as a whole. not separating him into child jeff and teen jeff and crime-spree jeff and prison jeff. when i consider the entirety of his life and look at the whole context, i see a person who struggled immensely with tons of horrific urges — WAY more than most of us would ever experience in a full lifespan, to say nothing of his 34 short years. and i do see someone who was ultimately too weak and self-centered to admit to himself that he couldn’t handle it all on his own, though at the same time i do think that most people would have trouble admitting even a fraction of all that shit out loud. still, though, when push comes to shove, ANYTHING is better than murder, and he still chose murder [and all kinds of other awful things]. but i do see why he, as a human being who had really never been fully listened to or taught that it was okay to trust others enough to let them help him, would be reluctant to say anything to anyone. his own actions trapped him at every turn, and there are no do-overs when death is involved.
it’s just a huge mess. JEFF was a huge mess. but i see his struggles, and i can’t help but feel for him overall. no matter what point he was at in his life, he was still the same person by definition. and i love that person. i love him for making years of effort to battle the horrible desires and fantasies that “filled his thoughts all day long.” i love him for sincerely repenting and dedicating whatever time and effort he had left toward being a better person. i love him for the soul he was deep down, that soul that was buried under all the sickness and the domino effect of terrible decisions. that soul that had to fight himself all on his own, more or less. no one gets an instruction manual for how to live as the person they are, and if anyone would’ve needed one, it’d have been jeff. in many ways, he lived life on an extreme difficulty setting, at least internally. and try as we might, no one except jeff dahmer will ever know how hard it really was to be jeff dahmer. and he’s certainly not around anymore to tell us.
i know that his sincerity is contested, but i’m the type of person who gives the benefit of the doubt, i guess. thinking this way gives me something to live for. and even though it’s still important to have boundaries so you don’t self-destruct or get taken advantage of, you can still love and forgive someone from a distance. and that’s how i approach jeff. i would never actually want to be in a relationship with him or anything, if that were possible — he wasn’t capable of a healthy relationship by any means, and that was the root of his whole problem! but i can care about him as much as i want from thousands of miles and several decades away.
and if it turns out i’m wrong and he really was just a total piece of shit who’s duped me into seeing him as human, fuck it. i’ve lost NOTHING by emphasizing the potential for a good outcome in this highly-complicated situation where we’ll never truly know either way. honestly, if i wasn’t optimistic, i’d have killed myself a long time ago because there wouldn’t be any point in battling my depression. i don’t want to be here if i can’t enjoy life, if i can’t see the good in people and situations wherever i find it. so if nothing else, i’ve at least fulfilled MY purpose here by erring on the side of positivity when even the clearest explanation still seems ambiguous.
when i see those polaroids, it’s very strange. it’s absolutely horrifying, yes.. hard to believe a human being could even do that to another. but as i look at them, the main thing i end up thinking about is just how far gone jeff was. how profoundly sick he must have been in order to do these things at all.. and not only that, but NOT be a sadist. NOT be someone who enjoyed causing suffering. it makes it clear just how much of an unfathomable death grip his addictions must’ve had on his mind for him to go to these lengths.
it’s quite understandable why some people think he must have been sadistic in order to do this shit. and yet he wasn’t, and we have plenty of evidence to show this. so as much as i guess i feel an outside pressure to hate him for it, i still can’t. i’ll never hate jeff, ever. i still feel just as terrible for him as i do for his victims. the tragedy just goes that much deeper in my mind.
Within the depths of remorse, the soul of a killer lingers, burdened by its actions. A victim of unfortunate circumstance, it found itself in the wrong time and place, meeting its untimely end at the hands of another human. Yearning for redemption, it reminds us of life’s fragility and the transformative power of forgiveness. The tale of the remorseful killer serves as a somber reflection on the fragile nature of existence. It compels us to confront our own vulnerabilities, urging us to consider the impact of our choices and actions. Through its story, we are reminded of the potential for redemption that resides within each of us, a flickering light amidst the shadows.
May this tale etch upon our hearts a profound lesson, reminding us to approach judgment with humility and to offer compassion where it is needed most. Let us navigate the intricate tapestry of life with gentle steps, mindful of the interconnectedness of our stories. For in understanding the plight of the remorseful soul, we gain a deeper understanding of our shared humanity.
Jeffrey Dahmer’s existence unveils the profound humanity that lurked within, challenging society’s tendency to reduce him to a monstrous label.
Young Jeffrey Dahmer
It is crucial to grasp that he was a complex human being with his own thoughts, emotions, and struggles. Recognizing Jeffrey’s humanity does not diminish the gravity of his actions; instead, it emphasizes the need to understand the intricate factors that led to his descent into darkness. By acknowledging his humanity, we confront the unsettling truth that anyone, under specific circumstances and influences, could potentially succumb to destructive paths.This acknowledgement compels us to examine the societal and psychological elements that contribute to such horrors. It calls for a compassionate society that fosters empathy, early intervention, and mental well-being, addressing the underlying complexities of human behavior.
In our pursuit of healing and prevention, let us not forget the humanity and soul within people like Jeffrey Dahmer. By acknowledging their humanity, we can build a future focused on compassion, understanding, and the well-being of all.
Jeffrey Dahmer occupies a distinctive place among serial killers. While his actions remain horrifying, it is crucial to delve into his unique existence, which sets him apart from other notorious figures. A closer examination reveals intriguing facets, including his display of remorse, unconventional motivations, and a deviation from the conventional sadistic nature associated with such individuals.
One striking aspect of Dahmer’s existence is the presence of remorse. Unlike many serial killers who show little to no guilt for their heinous acts, Dahmer expressed genuine remorse for the pain and suffering he caused. This element challenges our perceptions and underscores the complexity of his psychological makeup.
Jeffrey’s motivations diverge from the stereotypical sadism commonly associated with serial killers. While his crimes were undeniably monstrous, it is important to recognize that his primary drive was not deriving pleasure from inflicting pain. Instead, Jeffrey was driven by an overwhelming desire for control, companionship, and a twisted quest for a sense of connection that tragically manifested in horrific acts. Jeffrey Dahmer’s unique existence reveals a surprising human dimension that is not commonly found among serial killers.
His actions were not solely driven by sadistic impulses; rather, they were born out of a desperate need to fill an emotional void within himself. This distinction challenges our understanding of the motivations behind such crimes, highlighting the complex interplay of psychological factors that can drive individuals down dark paths. Jeffrey’s remorse and unconventional motivations mark him as a rarity among his notorious peers.
His willingness to express regret and introspection sets him apart from those who revel in their violence and show no remorse. This distinction provokes further questions about the intricate dynamics that shaped his troubled existence and the potential for redemption in even the most depraved minds.The existence of Jeffrey Dahmer defies easy categorization. It forces us to confront the enigmatic nature of human psychology and the intricate interplay of factors that contribute to extreme acts of violence.
While his crimes remain unforgivable, his display of remorse and unique motivations challenges us to grapple with the complexities of his troubled soul.
jeff is such a case of wrong place, wrong time. an outlier, tossed into a timeline that was just wrong for him and those around him, but just right for those who wish to study him. a sacrificial lamb of a soul, showing the world the worst-case scenario of what could go wrong when someone’s neurodivergences are left ignored and suppressed.
metaphysically, it’s not even his fault that he existed as he was. he was stuck that way, and there was no undoing it, no deviating from that life path he had to take on. it really does seem fated in a sense. if all the world’s a stage, then someone had to play the role of the tortured criminal, and it just had to be him.
i wonder.. if reincarnation is real [which i believe it is — matter can neither be created nor destroyed, and i’m sure consciousness exists eternally in the same way]. did he know that he had to incarnate in that way? taking one for the team, so to speak? or was he ultimately just some selfish horny fuck and there’s nothing deeper to it than that?
i mean, when i see his eyes in photos, i SEE an ultimately good soul there. a good soul that’s been ravaged and broken by its own incarnation. but of course, we don’t really have the tools to measure such a thing scientifically. so it’s all just up in the air for now. doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, though. it’s that sort of thing that keeps me wondering.
i do wonder how much self-awareness really does for a person in the end, though. jeff was as self-aware as he could be — on his own, with no outside help that matched his level cognitively — but he still killed 17 people. it’s just waking up to find you’re in hell. the existential horror of being jeffrey dahmer.
he experienced the bystander effect within himself. just a passive “i know i have to stop..” but an inability to INITIATE that action. it’s almost like executive dysfunction, but drawn out over a long period of time. and just like how all humans are biologically programmed to take the easier route, as it conserves energy, jeff acted on his impulses time after time. a sort of paralysis while still in motion. in many ways, he was paralyzed mentally.
same kind of thing with any addiction that grabs hold of you and doesn’t let go. people seem to think that if you can act at all, then you have a choice to stop whatever you’re doing. well, brain chemicals don’t work that way. he was able to stop for 9 years, yes, but that took all of his strength. eventually the muscles grew tired and he collapsed under the weight of his obsessions. and after that, he just gave in. he was tired of fighting it. he resigned himself to his fate.
just the same as with any addict relapsing. anything can trigger it. even something as small as a dirty note given to you in a library.
and back to the incarnating thing.. i wonder if maybe his “soul” or whatever knew someone had to live that life. someone had to be the bad guy, the poster child for the result of our stubborn refusal to understand mental health, our unrelenting desire to equate accountability with rage and punishment instead of understanding and compassion.
just like how someone had to betray jesus in order to get the ball rolling for his death and resurrection, i guess. someone had to play that role, and judas was the one who drew the short straw. maybe jeff had to be a sort of judas figure for the mental health field, causing the chaos that will set the much-needed transformation in motion. a devastating yet necessary catalyst.
¡ guess i just don’t want to blame him for being human. there was a lot going on in his mind, in his body, and he had no actual help for it that resonated with him. nothing that stuck. no one who truly GOT him.
i just wonder how strong any of us would’ve been against a biochemical cocktail like what he was stewing in for his whole life. especially when communicating it and being understood was impossible.
yes, people did try to help him, but it was in all the wrong ways.
the man was truly fighting himself all on his own.
Title: The Baptism of Jeffrey Dahmer: A Profound Encounter with Roy Ratcliff (1994)
Introduction: In the realm of criminal history, few names elicit as much horror as Jeffrey Dahmer’s. However, amidst the darkness that surrounded him, there exists an intriguing chapter involving his baptism conducted by Roy Ratcliff in 1994. This blog entry aims to shed some light on this significant event and the person who performed the ceremony.
Roy Ratcliff
Who Was Roy Ratcliff? Roy Ratcliff, a Church of Christ minister, played a critical role in the life of Jeffrey Dahmer during his incarceration. Ratcliff was a volunteer pastor at the Columbia Correctional Institution in Portage, Wisconsin, where Dahmer was serving multiple life sentences. Ratcliff’s primary focus was spiritual counseling and offering prisoners a chance for redemption.
The Baptism: In May 1994, Ratcliff and Dahmer developed a rapport through regular meetings, discussions, and Bible studies. Eventually, it was agreed upon that Dahmer would undergo baptism, symbolizing his newfound faith in Christianity. Ratcliff carried out the baptism ceremony in the prison chapel. It was a private event attended by a small group of witnesses, including Dahmer’s father and some prison staff.
Significance and Controversy: Dahmer’s baptism intrigued the media and sparked widespread debate. Some perceived it as a genuine spiritual transformation, while others cynically viewed it as a desperate plea for leniency. Ratcliff defended his decision, stating he believed in the power of forgiveness and the potential for redemption in even the most heinous individuals.
The Aftermath: Sadly, just two months later, Jeffrey Dahmer was brutally murdered by a fellow inmate. Nevertheless, Ratcliff’s act of performing the baptism exemplifies his commitment to ministering to those society deems irredeemable. While the precise impact of this event in Dahmer’s life remains open to interpretation, it serves as a reminder of the complexity of human nature and the importance of extending compassion even to the most reviled individuals.
Conclusion: The baptism of Jeffrey Dahmer performed by Roy Ratcliff in 1994 offers a thought-provoking glimpse into the role of faith and redemption in the lives of criminals. Ratcliff’s decision to conduct the ceremony showcased the transformative power of spirituality and the belief in the potential for change, even in the face of unimaginable atrocities. This event will forever be a part of both men’s stories, forever shrouded in the duality of hope and the darkness that surrounded them.
Michael Lofton conducts an interview with the minister who administered the baptism of Jeffrey Dahmer, prior to his tragic demise at the hands of a fellow inmate. During the conversation, they delve into the topic of Dahmer’s religious conversion and explore the genuineness of his faith. Additionally, the minister shares their personal encounters with Dahmer, reflecting on the seven months of weekly ministry they provided leading up to his untimely death.
Roy Ratcliff had an “Life Changing encounter…”
Impressed by Dahmer’s sincerity, Ratcliff arranged for his baptism in a whirlpool within the prison. On May 10, 1994, Ratcliff performed the baptism, marking a significant turning point in Dahmer’s life. Determined to support his spiritual journey, Ratcliff committed to weekly Bible study sessions with the convicted murderer.
As Ratcliff delved deeper into Dahmer’s story, he was struck by the dichotomy between the monster described in the media and the person he had come to know. While Dahmer occasionally mentioned his crimes, he never provided an explanation for his actions. Ratcliff, along with the rest of the nation, could only speculate on the motivations behind Dahmer’s gruesome acts.
Despite public backlash and criticism, Ratcliff firmly believed in Dahmer’s capacity for repentance and transformation. He received mixed reactions, with some questioning his judgment while others commended his unwavering faith in the power of redemption. Ratcliff held firm in his belief that even the most evil individuals could turn to God and be saved.
Over time, Ratcliff observed a gradual change in Dahmer’s demeanor. The once self-destructive man began to show a genuine desire to help fellow inmates, particularly through Bible study sessions. Dahmer’s father, Lionel, also noticed the positive shift in his son’s outlook on life.
Tragically, Dahmer’s journey toward redemption was cut short. In a horrifying turn of events, he was attacked and killed by another inmate while performing janitorial duties. Ratcliff, who had formed a deep bond with Dahmer, felt a profound sense of betrayal and loss. Just days before his death, Dahmer had expressed gratitude to Ratcliff and looked forward to their continued friendship.
Ratcliff presided over a memorial service for Dahmer, where he stood alongside Dahmer’s family. The event also brought together the sister of one of Dahmer’s victims, who expressed her newfound ability to forgive Dahmer, offering a glimpse of healing and redemption for all those affected by his crimes.
A decade after Dahmer’s passing, Ratcliff remains committed to his ministry and has expanded his work in prison settings. Inspired by his encounter with Dahmer, Ratcliff developed a profound empathy for those incarcerated, recognizing the importance of compassion and support in their journey towards rehabilitation and spiritual growth.
The encounter with Dahmer challenged Ratcliff’s preconceptions and taught him that no one is beyond the reach of God’s grace. It serves as a powerful reminder that even in the darkest corners of humanity, there exists the potential for transformation and the capacity for forgiveness.
In addition to the profound spiritual journey that Roy Ratcliff shared with Jeffrey Dahmer, their connection deepened into a genuine friendship. Dahmer’s gratitude for Ratcliff’s support and guidance was evident when he sent Ratcliff a Thanksgiving Day card, expressing his appreciation for their friendship and eagerly anticipating their future meetings.
This unexpected gesture touched Ratcliff deeply, as it symbolized the bond they had formed despite the immense challenges and societal judgment surrounding their relationship. The card became a poignant reminder of the potential for human connection and the capacity for transformation, even in the darkest circumstances.
Ratcliff cherished the card and looked forward to the prospect of continuing their Bible study sessions and sharing their spiritual journey. Little did he know that it would be their last communication, as just days later, Dahmer’s life was tragically cut short.
This heartfelt act of gratitude serves as a testament to the profound impact Ratcliff had on Dahmer’s life. Their friendship transcended societal boundaries, reminding us all of the power of compassion, forgiveness, and the potential for redemption, even in the most unlikely of circumstances.
jeff never thought his life could be helpful to anyone, but he really has helped me a ton. he’s helped me think more deeply about people, about psychology, about the different ways in which the system fails us all, and about the complex nature of morality and human nature in general.
jeff is a teacher and subject both, perhaps inadvertently so. he didn’t recognize his own power. but i’m always going to be grateful to him for that. his actions were horrific, but his existence has somehow still helped us all here in this community. those who’ve wished to study him deeply have uncovered a lot of profound truths along the way.
like a retrograde planet, jeff’s existence bungled things up quite a bit, but it also taught us a lot in the process. and there are always going to be retrogrades. on a grand scale, we need them.
and i hate even saying that because it seems like an insult to his victims. they certainly didn’t deserve to die or be violated in all those horrible disgusting ways. it’s sort of making me squirm to even have this thought at all right now. but i guess death gets us all at some point; it’s just a matter of how it happens and what — or who — brings it. and sometimes society as a whole needs a shock to it in order to recognize that the current setup is absolutely fucked and needs to change. it’s just how the huge complex rube-goldberg contraption called “the world” is set up.
unfortunately, someone has to play the bad guy. like how judas had to betray jesus in order to get the ball rolling for his death and resurrection. without judas, the whole thing would never have happened. he hated himself for what he did, too, and he hung himself because of it.
i see jeff very similarly. he’s a catalyst for change.
and now somehow i’m linking this with the trolley problem. a few casualties for the good of the whole later on down the line? it’s cruel. it’s brutal. it’s a horrible reality. but the only way we can improve things as they are, i guess, is by fighting fire with fire at some point.
i don’t know. this might all be bullshit and i might regret saying it in about 5 minutes. i feel like i’m being insulting to jeff’s victims by saying it. but i’m also not married to these thoughts, either — they’re just swimming through my head, and i might read over them again in an hour and hate them. but maybe there’s a similarity there in that i’m thinking brutal thoughts and am self-aware at the same time, just as jeff was self-aware and yet couldn’t stop causing destruction.
i think his fame was necessary. he had to slam into our collective consciousness like a meteor and leave a huge crater so we can later fill it with new lessons and knowledge.
it makes sense that he came to light during the early 90s, with all that harsh outer-planet shit that was going on right then. capricorn and scorpio, saturn and pluto dominance. saturn is the grim reaper swinging his scythe; pluto destroys and rebuilds. jeff was absolutely a harbinger of all this outer-planet energy.
maybe in his next life, jeff will go on to be an even greater force for helping people than he was for harming them. maybe he’s already doing that right now. he just needed to go through a really nasty incarnation first.
maybe he needed to experience firsthand what horrors one human is capable of before he could help change this in the next life. i do wonder how many of us have at least one past life where we were a murderer or a rapist or some other awful person, and that’s what’s made us wiser in the end and we just aren’t aware of it.
the difference with jeff is that he seemed to retain some awareness that this was wrong. he’s bridged the gap so we can peer into the other side. he’s relatable because we need to be able to recognize these traits in ourselves.
only then can we take the first step toward righting our wrongs.
Jeffrey Dahmer Memorial 